I have been trying to get control over my frustration at the house constantly being a mess. Especially from my mischevious 2 year old. It is the biggest problem I have these days. Even so, I still find my self clicking from blog to blog at all hours of the night while telling myself "I should get off the computer and just put away some laundry or sweep the floor or do dishes or SOMETHING."
Tonight I happened across a blog of a mother of 6 that lost one child a few months ago. A little boy, almost 2 years old. She said such things as - I miss him dragging my dishes all over the house, getting fruit out of the fridge and taking one bite, and biting the tips off all the markers.
After reading her story and crying for a long time (it's the kind of tears you shed for someone you don't know because you know that their pain could very easily be your own) I got up and walked around my home.
There were the dishes.
There was the laundry.
There was the mess under the highchair.
And there was the mess that my 2 year old had made when he got into the closet just before bed and decided to make a mess for the fun of it. He got yelled at for not picking it up. But in the midst of getting 4 children off to bed the mess was forgotten.
I would normally leave it for the morning and wake up to it which would make me irritated right away. Tonight I decide to clean it up myself, here in the dark, in the quiet, while Brian is out and the kids are sleeping safely I say out loud to myself, "I would clean it up every day for the rest of my life if I could see their smiles everyday."
I won't remember the messes and neither will they. But we will remember the snuggles, the laughter, and the smiles.